Real Reasons Why Mothers May Fail to Bond With Their Children and New Born
Babies need a nurturing environment that provides basic security needs of life, including a trusting relationship. As a baby grows from one developmental stage to another, there are new experiences to be explored, self-identity, and values imbibed, and only loving parenthood can provide that. Bonding is an emotional connection or attachment between the mother and the baby.
Most times, it starts from pregnancy. However, it is okay not to start immediately when you give birth; give it time. Bonding is a process, a product of everyday emotional and physical interaction.
Babies need a nurturing environment that provides basic security needs of life, including a trusting relationship.
These are likely reasons why mothers may fail to bond with their children
Setting unrealistic expectations; Motherhood can get overwhelming and challenging, especially when theirs is no support. Setting unrealistic expectations;
Low Self Esteem: Some parents have a negative self-image and low esteem, affecting how they relate to their babies. They see themselves as incapable of giving love and care, probably due to an abusive relationship.
Teenage Mothers: Teenagers who get pregnant out of wedlock, without family support or a father, might also get find motherhood challenging.
Birth trauma: Birth complications to the mother can also play a role in the attachment forming phase.
Postpartum depression: Mental health challenges such as this, in Lu postpartum blues, psychosis may affect bonding.
Birth Complication: Having a baby with birth complications such as congenital malformations, or preterm
Some parents have a negative self-image and low esteem, and that affects the way they relate with their babies as they see themselves as incapable of giving love and care, probably as a result of an abusive relationship.
Life stresses range from fertility issues to family problems, including the challenges of pregnancy and motherhood itself.
Unresolved childhood trauma: According to Sigmund Freud, unresolved childhood grief is suppressed and manifested later in life.
How Do Mothers Bond With Their Babies
- Mothers can bond during breastfeeding.
- Kangaroo care(skin-to-skin contact of mother and child) is good for preterm and helps to form attachment.
- Touch is a significant part of the bonding process, and massage can also be soothing.
- Eye contact with the baby also promote communication
- Engage in routine daily activities with your baby
- Recognize the cues your baby communicates and respond to them appropriately.
- Spend more time with your baby, play together, sing lullabies, and sleep together.
- Spend more time with your baby, even if the baby has to receive special treatment in the hospital.
- Practice kangaroo care after birth that is, skin-skin contact. Although this is generally used for premature babies, it can also promote mother-baby bonding.
- Forming an attachment can also range from physical to emotional ones. Other ways mothers can do that includes;
- Talking to their babies
- Playing with them
- Meeting the basic needs of children
- Provision of a safe environment, and a trusting relationship.
- Getting to know them better.
- Giving them a massage
- Build routine activities you can do with your baby, like going for a walk.
- Bonding is even possible during pregnancy. You can communicate with them, as they can hear your voice.
- Use of Newborn Behavioural Observation tool- You can consult your Midwife to train you on this
Acknowledging and resolving the main reason behind your failure to bond, such as birth trauma. You seek support/help as necessary, not only from family but also from healthcare professionals such as doctors and nurses.
